Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Reflection since my last blog

         Ok so this may be a short one i'm not sure since my last blog on july 26th on fb things have been going well with therapy. I'm still battling a thing called cleaning house since last month was really rough nothing was getting done but since then laundry is slowly getting caught up and since tonight well this morning i have so much ambition and moderate energy since i organized my cds and movies i decided to stay up and do laundry its not so noise with the house asleep so i won't wake them up. The kitchen is looking a little better i still have lots of dishes todo but i'll do them later after everyone is out doing there daily things. I haven't really talked to my parents lately i kinda feel bad i do miss them but i just don't know really what to say we don't see eye to eye its like talking to a different species at times. Today i have therapy and have to get some medical records from my dr. and finish what i can of the house not sure when i'll go to bed but oh well the way i feel right now i'll sleep when i'm dead. There is so much i want to do in the house of organizing it and cleaning it but it takes time. Anyways where was i, i do notice i tend to skip around alot and at times i can talk about several things at a time and actually complete them but i guess i may be getting a little tired. Anyways again not a whole lot has changed since my last blog doing the same thing pretty much. But to update as of here lately I have been have strange dreams and when i was at therapy last we talked about it and when i told my parents they assumed it had to be the food i ate the night before but wrong they are there is meaning when i dream cause i don't have dreams very often. Here lately its been quite frequently and my therapist gave what he thought could be the meaning and when i went to interepet myself sure enough he was right. I still need to go back and write short hand the interpetation of it and the ones i've had recently and tell him and see what he thinks. Wow so much for short but there is so much on my mind and if its important it will come to me and be written. As it does say in my profile that i am gay but kinda bi curious and thats one thing my parents don't agree with because of the bible and its that very reason i don't believe the bible. My faith my belief is in the pagan ways I'm still studing and learning i'm not much practicing at the moment but i'm learning. I have been going to church except this last sunday i need to get out and socialize and see familiar faces but it seems there may be something greater for it i'm i people watcher and it gives me time to also spend with my family on the weekends and feel like i'm a part of something. Deep down i don't feel like i have a family because i'm not accepted except for my friend who i help with her kids and clean for her and help her out. But when it comes to my beliefs its a subject i could go on for hours which i won't. But as for my friend i love her as friend I can talk to her about pretty much anything and at times it feels like we are in a relationship but its a non sexual relationship and back awhile ago i was talking to an ex friend of mine about finding someone to be in this type of relationship and i happen to be in one we live two seperate lives yet i feel like we are one we are both there for emotional support and i help her with the bills and the house. I feel happy about it and it hurts me when i go anywhere for long periods of time away from her and the kids. Well i'm thinking that i'm going to close this now and end my thoughts on that i heard the dryer a while ago and need to take care of it and do some other things. "So merry meet and merry part and merry meet again"

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