Friday, August 13, 2010

Well the weekend is here

      Well i woke up around 1pm was not happy about it but i need my sleep after the day before exterting all my energy i still feel drained. I never did meet my friend when friend got home she convinced me a little bit not to go but i had a feeling not to go so i went with my feeling. I'm glad i didn't go cause he sent me an email around 5 apologizing for not showing up i emailed back and said it was ok that i didn't go that i had a feeling not to so i didn't. I came up with a budget and the rest of the month is going to be hard finacially but next month looks good alot of money to play around with. Didn't have any dreams that i can remember which means no message. I guess thats good in a way. I can't believe its 3 am cause it feels later than that. I've taken care of my farm, vamps, emails, yoville, and now i'm blogging. I'm really tired and not much really happened today i cooked supper it was good.

       I've been thinking, at times its not a really good thing that i think but its been about life. I got a call today from job corp and i have a meeting next friday. But what i've been thinking about is i'm not sure if i really want to go now. I want to in hopes of following my dreams and making something of myself and improving my life but, I don't think i can leave my friend and the kids. Just thinking about it, it hurts i'm going to miss them badly 4yr old calls me dad and i look at both kids as my own even tho they may not be blood but i want to see them grow up i want to be in thier lives. If i do go to job corp i'm not sure how long i'll be gone and friend needs my help here. I've always been told to look after myself and take care of me but its hard I want to help others before myself in anyway i can. Its something i will have to seek guidance in with in myself and my counselor and talk to my friend about. At times when i want to do something she'll encourage me to do it even if its not really the best thing at the time. Looking at the budget she needs help she can't make it on her own and i don't want to see anything bad happen to any of them. Idk like i've said i need extreme guidance. Another way i can see it if i do get accepted then it means i could be meant to go if i get declined then i see it as i'm not supposed to go and there is a purpose for me here and i already know part of that purpose. Well before i just start sleeping at the desk i better end on this and get to sleep. Nite and sleep well.

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